Where is the what?!…

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While attempting to explain the logic of an educated, trained wrestler getting pregnant and giving up her dream of an Olympic Gold to a friend today, the profound, all encompassing though slightly in-articulate phrase “where  is the what?” got coined.

And I find it expresses so many sentiments so comprehensively and with such brevity, requiring just a change of intonation….

Searching-Me looking for my glasses-where is THE what and instant comprehension across the household, one of whom point to my head where they are perched.

Indignation-Me to asinine driver turning right-Where is THE WHAT! –indicating lack of indicating on their part. Of course they only see wild gesticulations but the meaning is clear.

Soulful-where is the what in life. Here it is….in rum and coke.

Crying-Where is the what and I get handed a tissue.*sniff.

I like this phrase.

So, these deep with meaning words were uttered when I was narrating the (predictable and clichéd) story of “Sultan” to aforementioned friend.

There are two good parts to Sultan. One where Randeep Hooda makes his all too brief appearance and the other, when the film ends.

Yes-I sat through it-though very sensibly in the comfort of my own home, via a pirated DVD @ Rs 50/- only. Curiosity had got the better of me after the “rave” reviews and I pressed play expecting a National Award winning performance and film. Such naivete-at my age too….

I now want to recover even that-perhaps Olx pe bik jayegi?

To sum it up- Sultan is a  beefy 30 year old, living off his dad and selling Dish TV (product endorsement check)connections, whose only talents seems to be in recovering kites after they have been brought down. He falls for tough Aarfa, the only child of a wrestler, who has educated her, trained her and together-daughter and dad hope for an Olympic gold. (Social message check-beti jalaoge, toh bahu kahan se laoge etc).

Sultan confuses Aarfa’s friendship for love and his ego and heart take a big beating when she tells him off  in no uncertain terms-  “look at you –and look at me-Ahm so cool-you’re such a fool” kind of dialogue. Hurt ego turns Sultan into broody man and then ace wrestler. This in turn, caused Aarfa to change her mind and things take a turn towards marriage and domestic bliss, along with Sultan’s increasing success and arrogance.

And then, Aarfa gets pregnant and drops her dream of the Olympic gold or indeed any career at all. And makes the stomach turn. Contraception? Timing? Consider not having the baby? Naaaah.

Gah!

So she has the child and sadly loses it-because the child needs his father’s rare blood type to survive and it is not available anywhere. He in turn is earning his Gold miles away. Thus Aarfa walks out in hurt anger and Sultan gives up wrestling to collect money via crowd funding for a blood bank in the village. This continues for 8 long years, where he also collects a paunch along with dabbas of money. Wonder what he did with all his endorsement and prize money?

Anyway-a pro-league modern day wrestling project is losing money and the young owner is advised to get Sultan and he will have a sure winner. After some convincing, broody agrees to join in and becomes brawny again. Gets fit in record time. Wins every fight. Reconciliation. Happily ever after. Etc.

Salman Khan looking square, hefty, scantily clad and Haryanvi.Anushka looking tall and skinny and half his age. Randeep Hooda wearing headgear hiding his looks but sounding good as usual. Kumud Misra, Anant Vidhaat Sharma as the hero’s mandatory friend, Amit Sadh, Parikshat Sahni and many wrestlers.

The what in this where is clearly Salman Khan who despite being a deer shooting, girl-friend beating, hit and runner of people, and obnoxious statement maker is clearly acceptable to an alarmingly large number of people in our country. Even more scarily-many of these are educated, intelligent, informed people.

Yet they transform this arrogant, unapologetic purrson’s average films into record breaking money spinners, year after year. Sure they burst with social messages and “goodness”. But for all the positivity his films show and specifically the redemption this one talked about- what about some of it in real life?

salman-khan-sultan-movie-poster

Or isn’t owning up to a mistake and atonement Being Human?

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2 thoughts on “Where is the what?!…

  1. asimpatel01

    salman trump samesame vonly. disgusting to the samajhdaar but loved to bits by a strangely alarming number of volks

    loved your where is the what 😀

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