I recently completed a year of “needstotalk”. WordPress wished me a Happy Birthday or words to that effect.
365 days. 40 posts. 66 comments. 2000 odd views.
As statistics go, I could have possibly bettered them. Written more posts. Done an aggressive “read my blog” effort. Followed all the suggestions offered by WordPress themselves to garner a larger readership. But I did not. Maybe this year.
I gathered some other, highly intangible but very special stats too…..
The encouragement from friends when I started out.
The felicity of being read by them.
The feedback they shared.
Their comments of appreciation.
My mother read it….and liked it and told me so and my aunt so and she read it too.
My father read it…and liked it and made me write other stuff for him.
A teacher from college read it…and wanted to incorporate one post in her lesson plan.
A fellow blogger read it…and shared it on their site.
A friend, in a social gathering mentioned a post and said that it was spot on.
Some friends provided inspiration for writing.
Another published it in her own public forum.
Other friends say they read my movie reviews and even wait for them.
A number of other people read it….from across the world. I don’t know them but they read it.
Invaluable…this. A tremendous boost to my sometimes floundering confidence. (why would anybody read this? Is it good enough? Do I use too many pictures? May be the text is superfluous? Am I always negative in what I write? Are my posts all about memories? Is the grammar correct? It’s drivel-I know it is….).
Over time, some of this agonising abated. People WERE reading it. Hey,…it wouldn’t get a Booker (yes I KNOW they don’t give Bookers to Blogs…but maybe one day they will…right after seeing this post and liking the idea)So I was saying, maybe it is readable after all. You see the people reading my blog and commenting were not the type to provide lip service. They were not compelled in any way to only like and praise or even read at all. They liked it. They told me. It was time to believe in myself a little.
“needstotalk” started in a cathartic moment of crisis. My outlet of self expression, it was and is my space to organise and articulate the inside of my head and heart. It is the conversations I wanted to have. It is the conversations I DID have. I did not expect to be read and appreciated or even acknowledged for the thoughts I shared. Having achieved all three and by so many people has given me a great measure of confidence and acceptance.
So Thank You. Each and every one of you…the ones I know and the one I don’t. You have helped me grow and evolve. You make me want to keep on “(needsto)talking”.
Will you continue being part of my conversations?