What does hurt look like?

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Source: What does hurt look like?

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What does hurt look like?

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What does hurt look like?
Big dilated eyes?
Or a reflection from which you avert them?
Is it the deafening sound of a beating heart?
And you wish it would stop.
Or perhaps the gushing blood in the veins
Which just goes on and on.
Is it the vise around the throat
Of unuttered screams
Or the agony of having to move
When stillness is all you crave?
Is it your lungs doing their bit
When you wish they’d take a break.
Is it having to talk
When you wish you could just stop.
Is it looking but not seeing?
Listening but not registering?
Is it the grey cast of rain
Or the dull haze of a storm?
Is it a heavy dreamless sleep
Or night after night of none?
Is it wanting to run
And having to stay?
Is it having to go from day-to-day,
Struggling till you find a way.
To keep the hurt at bay.
Keep its indelibility
An arms length away.

Storying Happiness

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My love for stories started with my nani (maternal grandmother) who had an impressive and varied repertoire up her sleeve. While bed time stories such as the one coming up below  were a staple of all younger days spent with her, anecdotes from her childhood in Bareilly, stories of the independence struggle,her married life in Lucknow and Bombay and scores of other snippets formed large parts of the days I spent with her.

Graduating from the verbal to the written when older and encouraged by a family of readers (nani included), I made lifelong friends with books early on. Like the story narrated, I re-read the favourites often and have been known to buy a couple of copies extra because you know…can’t lose them!

And a step ahead -cinema and radio programmes too are part of the various ways I enjoy storytelling.Radio-well AIR way back, used to enact plays.And recently, it is Nilesh Mishra who I occasionally tune into and enjoy.

So auditory, written, still, moving and telling-stories form a large part of who I am.

Today then, on the International Day of Storytelling, World Sparrow Day and the International Day of Happiness, this tale told to me by nani, about a sparrow, which made for a very happy memory, seemed a good idea to share.

The Sparrow and the Carpenter

A carpenter used to work below a tree in which a sparrow couple had their nest. They were called Gaurva ji and Gauraiyya.

One day, while the husband, Gaurvaji was out collecting food, Gauaiyya was cleaning up her nest and inadvertently the dropping from there fell on the carpenter. The carpenter got very annoyed and despite Gauraiyya’s repeated apologies, refused to calm down. In his anger, he threw a piece of wood at her, which hit her and she fell dead from the tree.

When Gaurva ji returned with the day’s rations, he searched high and low for Gauraiyya, and got increasingly worried when he was unable to. When he found her lifeless under the tree, Gaurva ji became very sad. He asked the carpenter what had happened and upon hearing the tale, he also got very angry with the carpenter.

Sobbing angrily, he stomped off, wanting to teach him a lesson.

He came across a match box who asked him why he was crying. On listening to his story, the matchbox said it would help him and joined him on his way.

A little further, he met four frogs, who in turn were told the story. They too wanted to help.

Thus, Gaurva hitched them to the matchbox and made a cart and rode on…

Some peas on the ground asked…

“Where are you headed Gaurva ji?”

(गौरवा जी गौरवा जी कहाँ चले?)

He replied…

A matchbox and frogs four,

I head towards my home.

A carpenter harmed Gauraiyya,

I want to settle the score.

(The original rhyme in Hindi goes:

चटक मटक की गाड़ी बनाई

मेढक जोते चार

बढ़ई ने गौरैय्या मारी

बदला लेने जाऊँ.)

 

Prickly thorns further up stopped him to ask where he was going:

A matchbox and frogs four,

I head towards my home.

A carpenter harmed Gauraiyya,

I want to settle the score.

 

Moved at the tragic story and they became part of Gaurva’s journey too.

Thus supported and prepared, Gaurva reached the carpenter, who tried to flee as he saw their arrival.

Gaurva threw the peas on the ground and the carpenter slipped on them and fell. As he tried again, the thorns were thrown on his path and he got injured with their prickliness. The frogs, in the meantime, jumped up and down on him and added to his woes.

The carpenter pleaded for forgiveness and admitted that he had acted hastily. He carved out a wooden “Gauraiyya” which magically turned real as Gaurva ji held her. Thrilled with this, Gaurva ji accepted his apology and also thanked his new friends, who had come to his aid.

He and the new Gauraiyya lived in their nest and the carpenter, continued working below the same tree, though now calmer, having learnt his lesson.

‘Tolerance, peaceful coexistence and kindness make for a magical, happier world.”

_______________________________________________________________

I am told that I listened to this story repeatedly for days on end, yet delighted every time in the चटक मटक rhyme. The concept of hitching frogs to a matchbox and riding off must have appealed even then, my sense of craziness!

And while on crazy, I hail from a family of great spinners of yarns and tall tales and those make for some great, uproarious laughter inducing listening.So stories are part of the old gene pool!Add to that the skill of attracting great narrators and wordsmiths as friends and life is so filled with varied kisse-kahanis and thus much khushi!

Perhaps it’s time I knit some of those yarns into a semblance of stories and share the warmth.

Share yours too?

 

 

Storying Happiness

Standard

My love for stories started with my nani (maternal grandmother) who had an impressive and varied repertoire up her sleeve. While bed time stories such as the one coming up below  were a staple of all younger days spent with her, anecdotes from her childhood in Bareilly, stories of the independence struggle,her married life in Lucknow and Bombay and scores of other snippets formed large parts of the days I spent with her.

Graduating from the verbal to the written when older and encouraged by a family of readers (nani included), I made lifelong friends with books early on. Like the story narrated, I re-read the favourites often and have been known to buy a couple of copies extra because you know…can’t lose them!

And a step ahead -cinema and radio programmes too are part of the various ways I enjoy storytelling.Radio-well AIR way back, used to enact plays.And recently, it is Nilesh Mishra who I occasionally tune into and enjoy.

So auditory, written, still, moving and telling-stories form a large part of who I am.

Today then, on the International Day of Storytelling, World Sparrow Day and the International Day of Happiness, this tale told to me by nani, about a sparrow, which made for a very happy memory, seemed a good idea to share.

The Sparrow and the Carpenter

A carpenter used to work below a tree in which a sparrow couple had their nest. They were called Gaurva ji and Gauraiyya.

One day, while the husband, Gaurvaji was out collecting food, Gauaiyya was cleaning up her nest and inadvertently the dropping from there fell on the carpenter. The carpenter got very annoyed and despite Gauraiyya’s repeated apologies, refused to calm down. In his anger, he threw a piece of wood at her, which hit her and she fell dead from the tree.

When Gaurva ji returned with the day’s rations, he searched high and low for Gauraiyya, and got increasingly worried when he was unable to. When he found her lifeless under the tree, Gaurva ji became very sad. He asked the carpenter what had happened and upon hearing the tale, he also got very angry with the carpenter.

Sobbing angrily, he stomped off, wanting to teach him a lesson.

He came across a match box who asked him why he was crying. On listening to his story, the matchbox said it would help him and joined him on his way.

A little further, he met four frogs, who in turn were told the story. They too wanted to help.

Thus, Gaurva hitched them to the matchbox and made a cart and rode on…

Some peas on the ground asked…

“Where are you headed Gaurva ji?”

(गौरवा जी गौरवा जी कहाँ चले?)

He replied…

A matchbox and frogs four,

I head towards my home.

A carpenter harmed Gauraiyya,

I want to settle the score.

(The original rhyme in Hindi goes:

चटक मटक की गाड़ी बनाई

मेढक जोते चार

बढ़ई ने गौरैय्या मारी

बदला लेने जाऊँ.)

 

Prickly thorns further up stopped him to ask where he was going:

A matchbox and frogs four,

I head towards my home.

A carpenter harmed Gauraiyya,

I want to settle the score.

 

Moved at the tragic story and they became part of Gaurva’s journey too.

Thus supported and prepared, Gaurva reached the carpenter, who tried to flee as he saw their arrival.

Gaurva threw the peas on the ground and the carpenter slipped on them and fell. As he tried again, the thorns were thrown on his path and he got injured with their prickliness. The frogs, in the meantime, jumped up and down on him and added to his woes.

The carpenter pleaded for forgiveness and admitted that he had acted hastily. He carved out a wooden “Gauraiyya” which magically turned real as Gaurva ji held her. Thrilled with this, Gaurva ji accepted his apology and also thanked his new friends, who had come to his aid.

He and the new Gauraiyya lived in their nest and the carpenter, continued working below the same tree, though now calmer, having learnt his lesson.

‘Tolerance, peaceful coexistence and kindness make for a magical, happier world.”

_______________________________________________________________

I am told that I listened to this story repeatedly for days on end, yet delighted every time in the चटक मटक rhyme. The concept of hitching frogs to a matchbox and riding off must have appealed even then, my sense of craziness!

And while on crazy, I hail from a family of great spinners of yarns and tall tales and those make for some great, uproarious laughter inducing listening.So stories are part of the old gene pool!Add to that the skill of attracting great narrators and wordsmiths as friends and life is so filled with varied kisse-kahanis and thus much khushi!

Perhaps it’s time I knit some of those yarns into a semblance of stories and share the warmth.

Share yours too?

 

 

Badrinath Ki Dulhania

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My review on Badrinath Ki Dulhania got stuck in the recalcitrant wheels of my computer, who decided to sulk just when I started to write it out. Thus the delay and my having come across varied views to the film and so having had time to think those through as well.

 Films, like food are individual in taste and likes and My impression though, remains the same and I like and enjoyed the film, as I had its precursor, “Humpty Sharma Ki Dulhania”.

The film begins on an off-putting but truthful note, describing the birth of girls as liabilities and of boys as assets in the narrow mindsets of people. And then proceeds to state many more facts, which are part of our daily lives, and are all to do with not giving women their due respect and choices. A lot of it, while appearing extremely offensive to the more fortunate of us, is the bald truth of large parts of our country. Dowry, not being allowed to take up a job, kowtowing to a despotic husband-the issues women face. They are not always dramatic headlines. Rather, they are occurrences in our lives which happen to people we know well and around us.

(I recalled many situations which I had witnessed directly or fairly close to home-specifically to do with dowry, aborting female foetuses, not being allowed to work and underestimating women generally. All of these in and around the metros.)

What the film showed was that these issues are part of the conditioning we receive while growing up and shedding all or any of them is as difficult for women as is for men. Once the realisation, does happen, it is gradual, and one just has to keep it at it. Childhood conditioning can be deep and hard to budge and even acknowledging that a change is needed is a huge step forward-both for men and women.

So

 Badrinath Bansal, 10th pass, son of a rich, tyrannical through illness kind of dad, resident of Jhansi, good natured chap. Life for him means marriage with a girl with good dowry, approved by father and joining into the family business and raising a brood of children.

Meets

Vaidehi Trivedi- feisty younger daughter, ambitious, pretty and resident of Kota. Cheated out of her dad’s money by the apparent love of her life, she remains valiant in her drive to become a career person –all of this without a ‘naari mukti morcha (women’s liberation march)’ but in a steadfast and spunky way.

Badrinath declares intention to marry Vaidehi and engineers a proposal being sent to her parents. Aghast when she says a firm no and threatens him with the cops if he persists, he  is unable to wrap this novel concept of a girl not wanting to marry at all, and not marry him (!) and exhibits a spot of harassment but is promptly harassed right back. However, friendly relations are established.

Badri agrees to help her find a groom for her older sister (in an attempt to further his own cause) and actually succeeds! At which point Vaidehi, under some pressure, agrees to marry him as well. Badri also arranges for the shortfall in the dowry amount asked and discovers then, that his quiet, soft-spoken bhabhi (sister-in-law) is the brains behind his brother’s business success and that she can cook the books as well she does lunch (well just this onceJ). This is perhaps the beginning of Badri’s change –the realisation that a woman can be educated and qualified and yet be forced to stifle her own desires because”papa ne mana kar diya (my father forbade it.)”

The day dawns for the nuptials, and while the elder one gets hitched, Badrinath gets ditched. Vaidehi follows her heart and takes off to become an air hostess. Heartbroken and bewildered, he expresses his angst with violence. On his father’s caveman like instructions, he leaves to bring her back and flog her publicly for the embarrassment she had caused.

Except that he is faced with a Vaidehi who is financially independent, good at her job and has prospects of a flourishing career. She counters his anger with an apology but tries to get him to see her point of view. Over time, Badrinath finds his views changing slowly and steadily……

Badrinath is enacted very well by Varun Dhawan and one can see the metamorphosis from the set in thoughts and ways “man” to empathetic, thinking person. From his brash almost stalker to his declaration of independence to his emotionally blackmailing father (aided by spirits), he visibly evolves.

Alia as Vaidehi (interesting choice of name-one of Sita’s.) is brave, vulnerable and committed all at the same time. She takes a bold step to find her place in the sun, but loses none of her focus. Professional and hard working but missing her family very much, she does well, though not as brilliantly as in some of her other films.

These two are ably supported by Rituraj Singh as Badri’s heart clutching blackmailing father, Shweta Basu Prasad as his bhabhi and many more.

The dialogues are funny in parts and the look and feel very colourful. There is the hallmark Karan Johar synchronised song and dance. The music includes a reprisal of “tamma tamma loge’ from Thanedaar  (1989) which had Madhuri Dixit and Sanjay Dutt look awful .This version was far more fun! Distinct notes of “pinjre wali muniya”from Teesri Kasam (1966) played out in the title track. The rest of the music was lacklustre.

As a second time director, Shashank Khaitan has handled his story, his actors and his film very well, and in just the right tone. One hopes he continues to make his films just so in the future as well.

On the whole, it is a fun, frothy film which does not turn preachy and does not portray dramatic, overnight transformations of thought and action. It shows that the jagged rocks of age old prejudices and subjugation can be smoothened through relentless efforts and the willingness to be open to change. And yes-the occasional confrontation or two does wonders!

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